Friday 11 May
Woke up this morning with a sudden sense of urgency and imminency for the trip. Feels like I need to finalise most of the rest of my prep for the journey this weekend. I need to buy some final equipment, have another practice night under canvass with stove for food being fully operational and generally get my head fully into gear on all the minor details that I don't feel I can leave till when I'm on terra firma canada!
Whilst doing all these last minute bits I have become aware of the fact that I can't cover all bases and have to rely more on a make it happen mindset when I get there.
I notice how much I am accustomed to all things routine and how either I take what I already do for granted or I imagine the things I will learn about outdoor life to be more complex that what I have already learnt. It is the fear of succumbing to the unknown and the recognition that so much of my confidence and self esteem is founded on competence.
The competence of knowing things or being able to do things. What would it be like to be fully confident without such things?
And also the courage to be humble, to embrace not knowing and therefore feel more comfortable taking risks. Also being able to pre evaluate those risks to minimize the perception of them by analysing the 'what if' scenarios to feel that the perception of that risk is lower and or a person's confidence rises about overcoming that risk.
Lets see how I get on!!!
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